10 Entertainment Industry Publicity Stunts That Failed Horrifically

By Simba The Comic King

Whenever you listen to a song, play a game, watch a movie or TV show some men and women with god like abilities that are known on our planet as PR and marketing, went through a combination of hell and dog s**t to make sure people are aware of it, preferably before it comes out. Some of these stunts are completely harmless like Sacha Baron Cohen sitting his a** on Eminem’s face cause Em raps about a** face-sitting all the time and some not as harmless and are liable to go south like….

Cartoon Network Bomb Scare

Whenever you think Cartoon Network the last thing that would come to mind is terrorism,  Mojo Jojo being the only exception. In 2007, CN whose parent company is Turner Broadcasting System Inc were gearing to premiere their  late night Adult Swim toon film, Aqua Teen Hunger Force: . Colon Movie Film for Theaters.  Instead of going through hell and dog s**t like every other PR and marketing guy or girl, marketing company Interference Inc decided they were too sexy for hell and dog s**t. They decided to put up black boxes with magnetic lights with Mooninites from the show, waving their middle fingers like they give a f**k. These were put up all over Boston city plus nine more cities and it would have been a kinda cool idea if Bostonians knew the difference between non-hell-and-dog s**t-marketing gimmicks and bombs. The two unfortunate fellows who were sent to do this dirty job were Peter Berdovsky and Sean Stevens who were arrested on charges of you-scared-the s**t-out of us. That's an automatic life ban from watching Cartoon Network for Pete and Sean's kids.

"Sins of the father."

Boston.”AMC’s Mad Men Put Up a Billboard Of A Falling Man That Reminded People of 9/11

To launch the fifth season of Mad Men, AMC put up billboards in Los Angeles and New York, that feature an image of a man in a black suit falling from the sky against a white background. Many people and by “many’ we mean the ones that are not fans of Mad Men, felt that it was reminiscent of 9/11 but more importantly it was yet another example of non-hell-and-dog s**t-marketing. The image reminded people of a chilling photograph that was taken by Richard Drew during 9/11 attacks on the World Trade Centre, of a man falling to his death.

"Geez, that billboard really reminds me of something that I think it shouldn't be reminding me of."

God Of War 2 Party With A Headless Goat and Topless Women

God Of War is a game that’s already ridiculously popular for headlessness and toplessness, so what could possibly go wrong if Sony hosted a party with a headless goat and topless dames? Sony U.K got a Greek Production company to host a Greek mythology themed party in Athens. They must have not known what they were paying for when they later found out that greek mythological parties usually feature at least one headless goat and topless women which they immediately got front and backlashed for by concerned non-gamers.

"You'll have to go through me if you wanna shut down my one headless goat and several topless b**ches party."

EA Offers Free Petrol To Promote Mercenaries 2 And Causes Traffic Jam

I know right? Who would offer free petrol to promote a video game? Electronic motherf**kin’ Arts of course. In 2008, the company offered  GBP 20 000 worth of free petrol to promote an upcoming game, Mercenaries 2, the outcome was exactly what you would expect if you offered free petrol to people who might not actually be gamers: A Traffic Jam. Luckily for those who hate free s**t, the promotion only lasted for about four hours after some angry backlash from residents. Non gamers really can be d**ks.

"To think I fed my grandson's PlayStation to the dog."

Captivity Abductrous, Torturous, Murderous Promotional Campaign

In 2007, After Dark Films made a great horror movie. What wasn’t so great was their marketing for the movie. The billboards for Captivity featured actress Elisha Cuthbert in four different horrifying and disturbing shots with captions 1. Abduction 2. Confinement 3, Torture 4. Termination, after all that they should have added 5. Christians Come Kick Our A**es To Hell Now.  Lionsgate was bombarded with calls from parents who had to spend the whole day explaining to their kids what they had just seen. You can’t exactly Babies-Are-Delivered-By-Storks your way out of this one. The film’s production companies were then forced to pull down the ads.This message is proudly bought to you by The Hell And Dog S**t Marketers Association.

"Caption currently unavailable."

PitBull Sent Into Exile Thanks To Walmart

What happens when you pit PitBull against internet users? They throw him in a pit somewhere in Alaska that’s what. In 2012 Walmart and Sheets energy strips, conjured up a contest in which PitBull would visit the store with the most likes on their Facebook page. Sounded like a normal enough contest until David Thorpe and his buddy  Jon Hendren, who started an internet campaign to  #exilepitbull cause having PitBull go to some s**t Walmart store in a s**t country would be far more interesting than his entire career. The internet jury unanimously decided that PitBull be sent to the island of Kodiak, Alaska.

"Isn't Alaska a bit too cold for you to be dressed like this mami?"

SpiderMan 2 Baseball Base Disaster

Back in 2004 when Columbia Pictures brought you Spiderman 2, they consulted a mystical non-hell-and-dog shit-marketing guru, they were told to approach Major League Baseball and pay them a s**tload of money to have Spidey 2’s logo placed on bases, to be slightly more specific, all bases, home plate, the pitcher's mound and the on-deck circle all for $3.6 million. They would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for baseball fans who felt that Spiderman should stick to walls and stay away from bases. Threats from Congress and the general public eventually forced Major League Baseball to withdraw their Spiderman-on-base s**t plans.

"When I'm not climbing walls, I'm masturbating....but definitely not PITCHING!"

Mission Impossible 3 Musical Boxes

In 2006, Mission Impossible 3 producers decided to promote the movie with a real life Mission Impossible. In true guerilla style, some smart a** whom we shall assume was high at the time of conceiving the idea, thought it would be a hell of an idea to have small little music boxes placed in 4500 news boxes around Los Angeles, once you opened the box, the MI theme song would start playing. This was of course after you’d died of a heart attack from confusing the musical player with a bomb. The publicity stunt caused mayhem throughout Los Angeles including an incident of an arson squad blowing up a news rack thinking it was a bomb.

"A stunt like this would have ended my career if it wasn't for my perfect teeth."

Rihanna's press fiasco aboard the 777 tour plane

If you’ve ever thought of getting a bunch of journalists, pack them inside a private jet to promote your tour I would like to let you know that’s a really dumb a** idea and I’m Unapologetic about it. In 2012, to promote her album Unapologetic, Rihanna toured seven cities in seven different countries, performing seven concerts. Despite it being one number short to an Illuminati conspiracy theory, the trip ended up being hell anyway. Rihanna locked herself away from journos in her “panic room” and ended up defeating the whole point of the trip by actually not promoting.  You’d think one of the journalists’ names is Chris Brown. The mutiny that eventually ensued on Boeing 777 became the highlight of the trip instead.

"These pilots ain't loyal."

Bandaged Man Walks Into A Bar To promote Splinter Cell: Conviction

You know those a “man walks into a bar” jokes? None of them ever involve a gun except if they are being told by a Monaco Corporation marketing manager. To promote their new game Splinter Cell: Conviction, Ubisoft hired Monaco to dream up a marketing gimmick that would blow people away, Monaco took this literally and thought “a bandaged man walks into a bar carrying a fake gun threatening to shoot everyone” would be the perfect way to do so. This of course did not go down well with patrons in Degree bar, Auckland, New Zealand, who responded exactly how people would react if “a bandaged man walks into a bar carrying a fake gun threatening to shoot everyone” by diving behind the nearest table. When people order shots, that’s not exactly what they mean.

"We'll add the tie to make it look really convincing."

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