Mufasa's Son

By Simba Kakora Woman Breaks Into Drake’s House And Raids The Fridge A woman who was clearly on her Worst Behavior, broke into Drake’s Southern California home and instead of stealing the fake jewelry he always raps about, she broke into his fridge and drank his water and pop. The thirst really is real out there. The Los Angeles County Sheriff's Department found and arrested 24-year-old Mesha Collins early Monday morning in Drake’s hizzy. When asked why she didn’t steal any s**t she supposedly replied, “Did you honestly expect me to steal his music? “ “Now I gotta make a song about how a girl broke my heart and Sprite endorsement deal.“ Spice Girls To Re-Unite This week was a fab one for Spice Girl fans (assuming they are still alive) as the former girls have confirmed that they will once again come together to form Spice-A-Tron: DeF**ker Of The Pop Universe . The reunion date coincides with the 21st anniversary of their hit track, Wannabe , which may be t...

By Simba The Comic King Donald Trump Son In Law Being Investigated For Russian Ties ( Jared Kushner ) Donald Trump is no stranger to being on every list on the internet that has the words ‘crazy’ and ‘We miss Obama’ in them which is why this week we decided to spare you and talk about the next worst thing….his son in law. Jared Kushner was appointed as a Senior White House advisor in January in what can be termed  slightly dictator- ish . We are not saying son in laws shouldn’t get the finer things in life but when your qualifications are sexually transmitted it becomes highly questionable, I mean its’ not Ivanka Trump’s high school boyfriend's fault that he failed to predict that her daddy would rule America with an Iron hairpiece one day. This week Jared became the object of controversy when details emerged that he met with executives from a Russian bank under sanctions over the country's incursion into Ukraine in December. Russians are already under heavy fire after...

By Simba The Comic King PokeMon GO is the craze that has taken over the world, the new Candy Crush or is Candy Crush the old PokeMon GO? {Crickets } Whatever the answer may be to that amazingly insignificant question all we know is that it has taken over the world like a technological Ebola. It still beats me how retarded you have to be to go around chasing a bunch of even more retarded invisible monsters, stupidity sells, presumably even more than sex, which brings us to our first entry: Russian Woman Claims To Be Raped By Pokemon Now rape is a pretty sensitive subject. The only exception is if the rape in question involves Pikachu. In August last year, an identified Russian woman hailing from the capital, Moscow, claims she was raped by a Pokemon GO character. Yes, you read right, in fact if you didn’t get it the first time I’ll type that again: An identified Russian woman hailing from the capital, Moscow, claims she was raped by a f**king Pokemon GO character, literally a...

By Simba The Comic King Serial killers use all types of excuses to do what they do, some will tell you they were abused as children, some had girlfriends they were obsessed with who broke their hearts and some just watched Friday The 13 th and thought, “Hey wouldn’t it be cool if I could slash the s**t out of people just like that depraved maniac in a hockey mask but where the f**k am I gonna find a hockey mask?” Today we look at those who unfortunately didn’t have much of a marketing budget but pretty much Modus Operandi ed the exact same way as some of the world’s most evil serial killers you’d think they studied an online course taught by them… ( WARNING : Readers discretion is advised, this article may contain s**t that may make you fast involuntarily for the next coupla days, despite the humorous nature of his blog, some of the content may be disturbing) Namibia Had Its Own Version Of Jack the Ripper The B1 Butcher or the “Khomas Ripper” was Namibia’s most pro...

By Simba The Comic King Every week someone or something around the world is going ape s**t for all sorts of reasons maybe because their father didn’t love them when they were little, their wife just divorced them right after accusing them of having a small d**k or Kendrick just posted a hint on Instagram that he might be dropping some new s**t… Kendrick Lamar Teases New Album And Drops New Single ( #Kendrick ) Social media is a world that is dominated by people like me, geeky f**ks who have too much time and tabs open but when Kendrick threatens the rap game with the release of a new album, that tab with the porn has got to go son. Early yesterday Kendrick Lamar posted a mere cryptic Roman numeral IV on Instagram but it was enough to shut social media down and porn tabs as well.  It was later on revealed that the “IV” wasn’t in reference to a new album but rather a track that references a new album, I know that doesn’t make sense but if you were looking for sense you wouldn...

By  Simba The Comic King Life is full of surprises and it is often from the most unexpected sources. A hobby by definition is an activity done regularly in one's leisure time for pleasure which surprises us why masturbation doesn’t fit within that handful of a definition. We all have hobbies but they are usually in tune with an individual’s disposition. For instance if you are Donald Trump most likely your hobbies would include being a broker on Mexico Wall Street. There are some people though whom the world has grown to associate nightmares with, whether in real life or just thespians who became popular for scary roles, have hobbies so cute they’d fool you into thinking they were Care Bears in their past lives….  Osama Bin Laden Was A Volleyball Terrorist It’s been six years since Osama was finally captured, executed and fed as dog food for sharks by US Navy Seals but when he wasn’t blowing buildings, coming up with recipes on how to cook every American pre...