Mufasa's Son

By Simba The Comic King Dictators are known for well, dictatoring but hidden beneath the atrocities they are already infamous for, lies a pure malevolence that would scare the Krueger out of Freddy. Every year at the Global Dictator Conference (whose existence we are still trying really hard to prove) they share ideas on how to make up and spread stories that will add the mega to lomaniac… Saddam Hussein’s Human Shredder Before the Shredder was the Turtles’ arch nemesis, he was employed by Saddam Hussein and before he mutated into metal, he was made of plastic. In 2003, a British member of parliament, Ann Clwyd claimed Saddam had a unique(to himself of course) and sadistic (to rest of the motherf**king world) method of torture in which he used an industrial shredding machine to turn his foes into mince meat foes. Although the existence of this torture tool was never proven, a witness in Hussein’s 2005 trial in Baghdad , would later describe seeing a “human flesh grinder.” ...

By Simba The Comic King If there is one thing that has become terribly cliché with comedians is racial jokes, black and white, white and black, blah blah blah and more black and white, you’d think they are zebras from Madagascar (That was not meant as a reference to Chris Rock). You really can’t blame them though, cause black and white gags are a guaranteed laugh especially when your d**k jokes aren’t getting in (and with that, our first intended pun of the day). Many slang words, used by comic and non-comic folk alike actually have origins that initially weren’t offensive, words like….   In The Beginning Uncle Tom Was A Compliment The real Uncle Tom, in Harriet Beecher Stowe’s abolitionist 1852 novel, was a martyr who was whipped to death for refusing to deny his faith as well as not revealing the whereabouts of two fugitive women. In the years that followed it became a racial slur which denotes a sell out. Who was responsible for turning this idealistic character it in...

By Simba The Comic King Everyone knows the story of Stella Liebeck, or so I think as her name popped up so many goddamn times when I was researching for this. For those of you who don’t, Stella, a 79 year old woman at the time, sued McDonalds’ cause she split their coffee on her own lap while she was in a car driven by her grandson, Chris, since she definitely wasn’t Lovin’ It , she went on to sue the red and yellow off McDonald’s insisting that their coffee was too hot and got awarded a retirement package of $2.7 million. We assume she used it to open her own coffee shop which she called "Not As Hot As McDonald’s" Coffee Place. Stella Liebeck vs. McDonalds’ is considered the most famous example of frivolous litigation and nowadays it ain’t that easy to sue cause you split coffee on yourself unless of course you are a celebrity. There are celebrities who are possessed by the hot McDonalds’ coffee hatin’ spirit of Stella Liebeck who have gotten away with ri- sh***y -c...

By Simba The Comic King  Every week there is an a**hole out there who because they are insane as balls, decides to do something that's insane-as-balls-like . This section of Mufasa's Son  is dedicated to those a**holes, giving you a list of the maddest things that took place during the past week both locally and globally, s**t like… Minister Promises 4 Million Jobs One thing that is certainly abundant in this country (Zimbabwe) is weed and I don’t mean the unwanted plants growing in your garden I mean the other ones that aren’t growing in your garden unless everyone in your hood calls you Rasta or Jahman . Minister of Information, Media and Broadcasting Services Dr. Christopher Mushohwe has clearly been smoking too much of the other-ones-that-aren’t-growing-in-your-garden. Last week at a mobilization meeting of content producers or more appropriately, a “Let Us Gather And Bulls**t These Young Creative Niggas” meeting where he promised no less than four million jo...